When is it time to stop trying to have conceive and carry full term?

This question has been something I'm trying to answer. K, the twins' daddy and my doctor have asked me if I have considered what happens next. I don't know. I don't even know all of my options yet, especially health wise.

So, Monday, I'm going in for a check-up. My BP is still rather high, although not as high as it was. I'm still having problems relating to the pregnancy/miscarriages, so he wants to make sure I don't get an infection and to make sure nothing more serious is wrong, thus causing the miscarriages. We won't have all of the answers, yet, since the results from the tests they are doing my babies' remains are done, but it will be a start. These are my first babies that they are running any tests on after the D&C. The other miscarriages were so early that the doctor didn't feel it was necessary.

So, what happens next? When is it time to stop trying to conceive and carry full term? Is 5 miscarriages enough to go through before giving up on trying to have my own baby?

I'm not sure I want to know the answers to those questions. I'm afraid there is more to this than what we know. I admit I know very little about fertility doctors and drugs. At this point, I'm not sure that will even be an opttion when I'm ready to try again.

There is one thing that seems to be staring me in the face, haunting what dreams I do have when I can finally get to sleep, and something I haven't even been able to say outloud may end up being a reality before I can even begin to come to terms with it. What happens if I can't (concieve, carry to term, etc) have kids, unless I adopt? Which right now, isn't even an option because of the mess with my ex-husband and that may take several years to get it taken care of.

How do you come to terms with your body not being able to do the one thing it should be able to do? If God didn't want me to be a mother, then why make me a woman and give me that burning desire to have a baby?

Ugh. I can't believe I'm even having to think about this, much less face it right now.